So, I’m trying to get my head around this. I don’t know if I’m doing the right thing or not. I actually sent off a note to someone and told them about my crisis, basically is it ever right to end a life? I love my cat, I really, really do and over the last bunch of days I have watched as my poor little kitty has withered.
She was a small creature to begin with weighing in at just over five pounds but now I would think she is maybe only two.
I pick her up and she is so frail I think she might come apart in my hands. I can feel her bones. I have given her intravenous fluids every day, I have feed her as much as she would eat but, there is no avoiding the ineveitable. She is withering before my eyes.
It’s sad to watch because she is still in there.
By in there, I mean she is still that wonderful companion that owns my heart. I come up in the morning and she comes out and walks around gingerly awaiting to be fed. After chowing down she comes back out as she has grown accustomed to me picking her up, cradling her in my arms and giving her water through an eyedropper. Then I’ll take some time to clean off her face before she drops down exhausted from the effort.
And over the last few days, since last Friday, each day she has gotten a little worse. When she walks, her rear legs almost give out on her and she has to catch herself but still if I am sitting at the computer she comes into the room and takes up residence on the pillow near me just to be close.
Tonight I held her and gave her the good scratching she deserved making sure I hit all the special spots she loves, behind her ears, under her chin. She stretched her paw out and put her head back and purred away.
The question becomes is it right just to wait for her to whither away completely and the answer is no. The heat has been getting to her too and just making her already dehydrated state even worse.
She got her treat of whip cream this evening and I loved hearing her purr as she tried her best to lap up what she could.
I’m cried out, or at least I think I am but then I can still find some tears left within me. I know it’s time, it’s just so very hard to say goodbye to her, she has been such a lovely addition and I truly feel I have been blessed to have her in my life. She has bought joy and happiness not just to me but also to the EYOC especially in his waning days and Madame X as well. She was the glue that held a discordant household together. You wouldn’t think such a small thing would have such great power but it was true.
Anyway, I know it’s time and there is still a part of me that wants another day but the truth is it’s not fair to her.
All I know is how much I will miss her.
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